By Inigo ‘Naughty’ zenicazelaya

THIS week, we learned that our Minister of National Security is passing out blame like candy and leadership ambitions brings out the bad here, there and everywhere.

Shall we begin?

The blame game

A short while back, the Minister of National Security Dr Bernard Nottage held his widely panned, hastily thrown together, televised national address on crime.

Of the five people who actually watched, the three who managed to stay awake during the entire hour-long broadcast reported to the rest of us (who were busy preparing for Tropical Storm Erika) that Dr Nottage blamed parents for crime being what it is today.

Apparently the good doctor went as far as to say the government will bring a “Parental Responsibility Bill” that basically forces parents to control their rude (you-know-what) kids or face jail time.

Needless to say, eyebrows were raised and then eyeballs were rolled.

Not only is Minister Nottage’s “idea” an old-fashioned, impractical endeavour, it sure sounds like an expensive one with many questions.

Who cares for the other minor children of jailed parents?

What about deadbeat/absentee dads who have no interaction – court mandated or otherwise – with their kids? Do they go to jail?

What about married men with “outside” children for other women? What about married women with “inside” children for other men?

What about grandparents who are asked to watch the “chirren”? The thought of Mama handcuffed and hauled off to jail because Johnny “turn out rotten” just doesn’t seem right.

And what if employers decide to fire parents on “sabbatical” to Fox Hill Prison? Who then supports that family? The government? With money from Bahamian taxpayers? The ones that aren’t in jail I guess. To say the Minister’s speech was tone deaf is an understatement.

But it was during this speech in late August we saw the resurrection of Dr Nottage’s plan to escape accountability by blaming everyone else.

If we go on what the Minister has said publicly so far, the police have failed to lower the murder count, the parents have failed to control their bad children and now the judges have failed to punish wrongdoers.

Out of fresh ideas, this week the Minister of National Security stood in the House of Assembly and put the blame on the judges and magistrates who give criminals a “slap on the wrist”, once again glossing over any role his Ministry of National Security has played in failing to keep the nation secure. Don’t get me wrong. Dr Nottage seems like a good man but he is clearly in over his head with a crime situation that is over the top.

Perhaps instead of placing blame he should invite more people to help him find solutions.

Because at this rate, the only thing left for Dr Nottage to blame it on is the rain. And then of course the alcohol.

Bye bye

birdie?

This past week, Prime Minister Christie got a welcome distraction from Delaware as the Baha Mar Chapter 11 bankruptcy case was dismissed by US Federal Judge Kevin Carey.

Mr Christie, like the cat that ate the canary, seemed very pleased that the fate of Baha Mar will lie strictly – for the time being – with our Supreme Court.

You get the impression that Mr Christie still sees the future of Baha Mar as the life raft for his own legacy and is holding onto it, white knuckles and all.

But has the ship already sailed?

The turn of events is indeed fortuitous for Prime Minister Christie because it provides him with an opportunity to once again get all the players to the table – Sarkis Izmirlian, China Construction America and China Exim Bank – and strong arm them (now that he has the muscle) into working together and finally completing the resort.

Actually, the timing couldn’t be better.

With the next Supreme Court hearing on Baha Mar scheduled for November 4 and the Progressive Liberal Party’s convention the same week, can Prime Minister Christie pull off a coup by forging an agreement that includes the developer (who most Bahamians are loathe to see lose his investment) and put Bahamians to work?

Don’t get me wrong, Prime Minister Christie, at almost 74, leading the PLP into the next general election spells disaster for the party.

But if he can pull off getting Baha Mar started again at least he can hold on as party leader for another year or so and exit with grace. That is, provided he names a successor at convention.

Barring that, get ready for a savage next few weeks as Deputy Prime Minister Davis (and other wannabe leaders) along with their surrogates continue to feast on Mr Christie the way all sharks devour whales – one bite at a time.

The master debaters

After watching Wednesday night’s Republican presidential debate I would trade in my big toe (the left one) for the Bahamas to make debates (first between party leadership contenders, then party leaders) mandatory.

During the Republican debate, we watched as candidates vying for the highest office in the United States (and the Western Hemisphere) went back and forth on who was incompetent, who was a puppet for special interest groups, who was smart, who was weak, who had energy, whose face was ugly and who had no business being on stage.

Basically, it was “I know you are, but what am I?” for nearly three hours.

Still, in between all the dirt being tossed around we learned that despite all the charisma, quick comebacks and snappy one-liners, Donald Trump (who leads in most polls) knows diddly about domestic affairs and even less about international affairs.

In other words, he can talk a good game but it’s becoming abundantly clear he may not have the skills to back up the dreams he’s selling.

Sounds familiar?

On second thought, have both big toes, and bring on those debates!

Thumbs up, thumbs down

Thumbs up to Minister of Tourism Obie Wilchcombe for setting the record straight and ensuring Bahamians have access to Cabbage Beach. A commendable move, proving Mr Wilchcombe has strong leadership potential and he believes in Bahamians. Now if we can only get the rest of his colleagues to follow suit ...

Thumbs down to Minister of the Environment and Southern Shores MP Kenred Dorsett, who had “no comment” regarding the whole Cabbage Beach access scenario. Not one word from the elected official whose ministerial portfolio deals with these exact issues? Shameful. I suggest Mr Dorsett gets a crash course in Politics 101 from his learned colleague Mr Wilchcombe if you want your political career to be longer than your hairline.

Thumbs up to the Royal Bahamas Police Force for their continued hard work and sacrifices so that we can have some sort of balance in our lives. In the past week we’ve seen armed criminals captured, firearms and dangerous drugs recovered and removed from our streets, and an alleged prostitution operation prevalent with illegal foreign nationals shut down. While we sleep soundly, the brave men and women of the RBPF risk their safety to ensure ours. Salute.

Thumbs down to the Free National Movement for continuing to dominate headlines with unnecessary, subversive infighting. Every time a member of the FNM goes on the radio bellyaching about leadership and airing dirty laundry, the entire party looks weak. A crash course in Politics 101 is needed for those persons as well. The elections are 20 months away – thinking about getting it together anytime soon?

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ on KISS FM 96.1 from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net.