By Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya

As much as I would like to address several issues affecting Bahamians this week, I’m forced to go with one, BPL, and obviously I must do it rather quickly as there’s no telling when they will strike again.

The more I look at the whole BPL fiasco, I can only draw one conclusion: we, the Bahamian people, deserve better when it comes to our power provider.

Unless their job was really to be a $25m ‘union breaking’ mechanism, BPL has been an epic failure in many regards.

In all honesty, BPL makes me long for the old ‘BEC’ ... and as comical and frightening as that sounds, it’s true.

At least we could gauge how long we would be off (depending on who Tall Pines MP and former BEC chairman Leslie Miller was ‘vibing’ with).

We knew when the ‘cutters’ from BEC would be out in force - radio ads flooded the airwaves. We also knew ‘ain’t nothing was happening’ if we didn’t ‘hurry put something on the bill’.

Yes, the bills were ‘guesstimated’ but BEC’s guesses were clearly better than those of BPL.

I mean how can the light bill of ‘Miss Nettie’, from the heart of Bamboo Town, balloon from an average of $234 a month to $648.93? A $410 spike in a month?!

Interestingly enough, this is all post-Hurricane Matthew by the way. The same hurricane that left BPL with not enough ‘bucket trucks’ and egg on their faces (and sweat drenching ours) with their horrendous job of post-storm power restoration.

I find it appalling that BPL would even issue bills with obvious higher rates before Christmas. Some families are just recovering from Hurricane Matthew, trying to scrape together a halfway decent Christmas and now gargantuan light bills! (The role of ‘Scrooge’ will be played by BPL this Christmas.)

What are we really paying for?

Are we paying for the ‘tab’ run up by BPL executives while they were riding out the storm, safely tucked away in the Atlantis with all the comforts of royalty, while we all rode it out in pitch darkness drowning in perspiration?

I hear those mini bar items are pricey! (No wonder ‘current’ did go off ‘ova da bridge’.)

Are we paying for a new cable, since the old one had issues recently?

Causing three days of load shedding and ‘on again, off again’ moments of maddening frustration?

If you needed help BPL just ask for it. Retired BEC linesmen have been ‘layin’ cable’ for years. I’m sure one of those retirees could have assisted.

I know what we are paying for: our lack of concern and protest initially when our ‘gubbament’ flung this on us. Again, in my opinion, just to ‘bust’ the union. Why send a ‘potcake’ to do a job that BPL was built for?

So as we continue to hold ‘current on’ vigils and lose groceries due to random power cuts caused by ‘faulty’ cables and a nonchalant power provider, we must take the time while we are sitting in the darkness and heat, melting like the wicked witch from the ‘Wizard of Oz’ in solace, to remember that we, the voting populace, are the power providers for governance in this country, and because of ‘boo boo’ decisions in granting lucrative contracts to foreign entities, come election time we may have to play a BPL and pull the plug on their time in office at the polls.

Well, I better run now. BPL says the blackouts will continue intermittently until the situation is totally rectified!

Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t we all pay our light bills intermittently until the situation is totally rectified. Wah’ ya say?

• Inigo ‘Naughty’ Zenicazelaya is the resident stand-up comic at Jokers Wild Comedy Club at the Atlantis, Paradise Island, resort and presents ‘Mischief and Mayhem in da AM’ from 6am to 10am, Monday to Friday, and ‘The Press Box’ sports talk show on Sunday from 10am to 1pm on KISS FM 96.1. He also writes a sports column in The Tribune on Tuesday. Comments and questions to naughty@tribunemedia.net