By NICOLE BURROWS

I’m writing this column today exactly as I’ve recorded the news in The Bahamas. Brace yourself.

Welcome to The Bahamas: Nothing works here. That’s our new motto.

V Alfred Gray once said Peter Nygard is a philanthropist. Peter Nygard once said he’s done more for The Bahamas than any Bahamian. Are you a philanthropist if you give money to get something in return?

Who among the rogues in our government cares about perception when they know, collectively, that if they continue business as usual and everyone else follows suit, they maintain status quo and never once have to answer for their wrongdoing?

As far as they are concerned, there’s nothing to address, nothing to defend, nothing to explain. That’s how you know you’ve got a corrupt nation.

Stable politics and government are good for investments, so long as no one brings reality to light. Bahamians and the leaders from among them are looking for Easy Street, and when they find a comfortable spot on it they take up residence there for the rest of their years.

Young men throwing rocks on or around a bus and a child dies as a result of head injury. All the “uniting and promoting a spirit of peace and love” is evidently not working, not reaching the people who need to be reached in this country. All your “thoughts and prayers” are irrelevant and ineffective without actions. You keep relying on heavenly forces to make your life different when you’ve been given the tools to change your world but you refuse to use them.

I’m inclined to believe Bahamians don’t deserve independence or freedom. They sure don’t act like they want it, let alone understand it. Anyway, freedom is not what you need to be praying for anymore. What you need to be praying for at this late stage in the game is that when you’re about to be conquered some other entity with means will step in the game and find you attractive enough to make you a part of them, willing to take on your problems as you have not done in four to five decades, but not treat you as the cretins many of you are. And you better hope it’s the lesser of evils that takes you on board.

Whenever we heard a Bahamian was moving abroad to live ten, 20, or 30 years ago, it seemed unique every time, but in truth it was always symptomatic of a more significant problem at home ... not being able to build a life without scheming someone, some way, to do it.

Many of you who have something significant, borrowed your assets off or stole to get it. I can think of but a handful of people about whom I can confidently say their hard work - both educational and professional attainments - has allowed them to live abundantly. And they give back to their society, too. They are few and far between but they are the real gems of our nation. They are truly productive citizens.

New Central Bank governor John Rolle says we Bahamians need to “get more productive”. And how do we do it? Entice more tourists! Sell more Crown land for a dollar per acre! Yes, that is the perfect plan for the future success of Bahamian people. Give away what is theirs and then make them pay again to get it back via mortgage, rent, or lease, individually or commercially. Slaves on the new plantation; they think they’re going to work at their profession every day when really what they do every day is tantamount to picking cotton. Double hi-five to Massah who keeps you in place with your job, car loan and house mortgage.

On the question of housing, the Opposition Leader Minnis is clamouring for mortgage relief for Bahamians by their government? You know what? Relieve them when you can coherently and satisfactorily explain to me why I, the Bahamian taxpayer, am paying for him or her to keep the house he or she couldn’t afford and never should have bought in the first place?

I realise this concept is contrary to commonly accepted reasoning, but the fact that you needed a mortgage, ie borrowed money for a home, means you couldn’t afford it to begin with. It’s the same debt at the end of the day as borrowing for a car, just much more of it. Our fictitious lives are built around a central theme of owing, not owning, and your government and commercial banks and your peers and relatives have bought in and allowed you to believe that it’s the only way to function – to be indebted to at least one entity for most of the rest of the best years of your life.

The mid-year budget communication indicates that the government budget deficit decreased by almost 75 per cent (by $398m) since 2012? The deficit is a reflection of what is made versus what is spent and if that number drops, it’s either because the government made more money or it spent less money. So we can assume VAT accounts for some part of the revenue increase (money made) that reduces the deficit, perhaps the larger part between 2014 and 2015.

But since we know our day-to-day obligations and therefore our expenses have not decreased, we can further assume that we finance those expenditures with borrowed funds, hence the increase in debt ... what we owe (versus what we own). And this bit of knowledge and understanding here is why our poor parents struggle to ensure we are educated and informed, so the wool can’t get pulled over our eyes in a budget communication.

If we owe the world, we are literally indebted to them. We are in their pockets until we pay our way out. Reference Mr Nygard’s claims on a Progressive Liberal Party government.

Is it time for a debt ceiling? Zero debt is not necessarily preferred, but a suffocating amount of it certainly isn’t either.

It is most definitely time for fiscal reform. Because a sitting government can make the same loose mistakes as it made with CLICO, for example, for which the Bahamian people are now being made to pay, is exactly why fiscal reform, quite frankly full public sector/government reform, is necessary. That begins with leadership reform. You put the inept in power, they will continue to lead ineptly, being bought out for little or nothing and leaving you to pay the bill.

There’ll be another ‘special purpose vehicle’ (SPV) for CLICO like Bahamas Resolve Ltd to cover government ineptitude, according to your Prime Minister Christie, to “assume insurance operations” and “payout policy holders”, with “surrendered policies, death benefits, medical claims, and staff pensions being paid in full”.

In this budget discussion, I for one am concerned about personal emoluments ($322m) and contractual services ($70m). I’d like to see the line items within those categories ... who was paid what amount for what services, be it contract, salary, stipend or allowance? I think that tells a far more interesting and most likely disturbing story.

The lengthy list of the current government administration’s accomplishments given with the budget communication are generally unimpressive. Just about everything on the list has been unwelcome or poorly implemented, yet to realise favourable outcomes.

Also in the mid-year budget communication, we learn that direct deposits will be made instead of cheques written to government vendors, through Bank of The Bahamas, no less. Lovely: they get to steal more, faster and easier than before.

One of my good friends told me the other day that “even a broken clock is right twice a day”. Having never heard this expression, I concluded it must have been created by someone who is often wrong. I dismissed it, as the public figure he was trying to convince me of having some sense more than none at all just does not impress me, in spite of his stature and freakishly odd popularity as being knowledgeable and esteemed. And it got me thinking about how many people, Bahamians, politicians, leaders, everyday people fall into that category of being terribly unremarkable, yet practically worshipped by a growing group of blind allegiants.

My little niece sadly and casually remarked to her relatives returning from a recent trip, “welcome back to this terrible place.” It left me wondering; if this teenager can see what’s happening all around her, how come adult Bahamians can’t? And it makes me sad that she has to carry this burden; I can’t even recall having this kind of thought to contend with when I was a teenager. I was just trying to pass GCEs and maybe learn how to have a conversation with a boy. Alas, my country was not yet visibly a ‘terrible place’, though it was en route and the seeds of destruction had already been sown, though I couldn’t see them. No doubt many couldn’t see them. Still many do not.

And that worries me. Are most of us blinded and unaware, or are we like that doting Bahamian wife who believes anything her lying husband says to her in the face of evidence that he’s scheming and still she refuses to acknowledge or accept it?

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nburrows@tribunemedia.net.