By NICOLE BURROWS

I’m having one of those days again.

In spite of the many news headlines coming out of the Bahamas, I am finding myself disinterested in discussing any of them. I believe this feeling is a cross between being numbed by the content of the news and being fed up with the same old nonsense.

I don’t want to talk about the newborn baby abandoned and left in bushes after the mother gave birth to him there, as evidenced by the bloody pants and underwear on the scene.

I don’t want to talk about what kind of a person would do that. I don’t want to talk about what would make a woman feel she had no other choice but to do that.

I don’t want to discuss whether or not she was in her right mind in the first place, or if she was someone mentally unfit who ended up impregnated by some random man who wanted a joy ride.

I don’t want to hypothesise about whether she was a good girl afraid for anyone to know she was pregnant.

I don’t want to talk about what kind of country we must be when women take to the bushes to have babies as if it was a cotton plantation in the 1850s.

I don’t want to talk about why people close to the Prime Minister stay getting shot at. Or the murder of a pregnant foreign teacher. Or why Hubert Minnis can’t seem to get it through his thick skull that it doesn’t matter how nice he seems to play with Loretta Butler-Turner, many Bahamians think the Free National Movement (FNM) has lost its cotton pickin’ mind and can’t in their wildest imaginations scare up the same number and/or quality of voters it once could have.

What I did want to talk about was the lame group of cabinet ministers meant to be working in the Bahamian people’s best interest.

I wanted to rate them all on a dozen characteristics, but then I realised most of them would rate poorly so why even waste my time.

Knowledgeability: most of them have displayed little clue or intelligence in their roles thus far and it’s hard to tell if the bit they do know has anything to do with what they should know, so it’s probably not even appropriate to rate them on their possession of knowledge.

Suitability for the portfolio … only the universe knows why some are picked to lead certain government ministries, particularly with no background in the work that’s required, and maybe the only reason they fit a role is because they are loyal or bothered to show up at roll call.

Respectability: at some time or another they have all earned and lost the respect of the public. Where they stand now can change tomorrow, so why waste my time or yours on grading them in this respect.

Sincerity: it’s a recurring case of wolves in sheep’s clothing. What you see as genuine, I may not see, and for different reasons. We will follow what we think is our instinct anyway, so let’s just skip this rating category.

Believability: any showman can make you believe something they really want you to believe and they continue to do this. I believe the worst version of it is called lying.

Likeability: when she/he is personable or charismatic or popular. But they all have their followers. One leader may be void of personality but may be laden with answers, but will never get anywhere because they have no mass appeal.

Conversely, another of them may have great appeal but not two sound thoughts to knock together, as it so often seems to be the case.

So really, consider likeability when the fundamentals are locked down, but it’s no criteria to choose a leader.

Did you ever like your meanest, most effective teacher?

Cabinet ministers are stage performers.

They put on a show for the camera and they believe they have earned the right to be untouchable in their performances.

Their leader allows them to maintain this belief.

But I decided that instead of showing how each of the showmen and women stacked up against one another in leadership traits, maybe it would be more beneficial to you to zero in on a handful of characteristics I think you need to pay most attention to in order to get you interested enough to get out there and vote in 2017.

Your good

leader should:

Have vision

This is primary, as far as I am concerned. You want your leader, any leader, not just leader of a party, to have a clear vision … clear in her/his mind and clear to the people.

Your leader has to have an actionable plan and goals that make sense to more than just self or a handful of people.

You don’t want someone who is just winging it or riding on the tail end of someone else’s ideas - old or new - from one moment to the next.

Sure, the ability to wing it is helpful when you find yourself in a jam, but anyone who just floats from one day to the next winging it in leadership is not someone you ever want to follow. When forced to select, the only cabinet ministers I could say have demonstrated any type of vision are probably Melanie Griffin, Glenys Hanna Martin and, maybe, Frederick Mitchell.

The problem is always in the execution of vision, as we’re still awaiting the turnover from some of their ideas.

Be communicative

Once they have a vision, your leader needs to speak it coherently and communicate it with clarity.

Everything they communicate to you or others should be done with clarity.

Ideally, you want someone who can flex between being colloquial enough to engage the less well-spoken among us, and someone who can give a speech at the United Nations and be understood by people from around the world.

When forced to select, the cabinet ministers atop the communicators list would include Perry Christie (who isn’t as clear thinking or speaking as he believes he is), Frederick Mitchell, Kenred Dorsett (though laced with slick lawyer words), Jerome Fitzgerald (speaks easy, but rude and lacking substance … yes, I of all people called someone rude), Michael Halkitis (puppet language), Obediah Wilchcombe (slickster with news media experience so he can smooth anything over) and Daniel Johnson (very confident, easy talker, perhaps overconfident … and talks lone BS).

These are the people who, when they speak, I might listen just to see what they’re going on about.

Have presentability

Your leader should be able to rub shoulders with other world leaders without being or looking awkward or out-of-place, and without causing you to feel ashamed that they are representing you.

If this person is a good leader, at least half of their job will be done outside the borders of the country, and every time they go somewhere they are showing the world what you look like and how you act.

When forced to select, the cabinet ministers with this trait might be Perry Christie (probably his best feature, except when he’s falling asleep), Obediah Wilchcombe, Allyson Maynard-Gibson (can we include her?), Glenys Hanna Martin, Frederick Mitchell, and Hope Strachan.

I’m reaching a little here, can you tell?

Be effective

Your leader must be able to get work done. In fact, your leader should have a record of getting things done.

You need a leader who can get boots on the ground quickly and a leader who can also be boots on the ground … unafraid to get down and dirty in the trenches with the rest of us poor suckers

trying to carve out a good life.

And by down and dirty I don’t mean going to a ground-breaking ceremony, bending forward with a shovel and then tossing dirt for a photo opportunity.

With their present track record and continuing along their current trajectory, I don’t know that any of the existing cabinet ministers really come across as so effective at getting things done.

I suppose, when forced to select, I would choose Melanie Griffin, Frederick Mitchell and Glenys Hanna Martin as boots-on-the-ground types, except I’m not too sure Mitchell will be getting himself too dirtied.

The rest of them in Cabinet present as ‘flammers’ of the highest order, and let this be a warning to them: most of you come across as doing nothing of great consequence.

If you are doing anything of consequence, your efforts are not resounding in the exhibition of results.

This is the sum total of our leaders and their connectedness with the people and with the purpose. In short, slim pickins.

E-mail nburrows@tribunemedia.net, Facebook and Twitter @SoPolitiCole