Friday, October 11, 2019
By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA
As wrestling fans throughout The Bahamas keenly watch the WWE vs AEW ratings wars, all while enjoying the weekly wrestling entertainment, the pro wrestling buzz has hit The Bahamas again, with the same fervor as days gone bye, when our generation were kids.
It’s a win, win situation for them all the way around.
Great entertainment and vast content and merchandise sales for various social media based, wrestling apps, blogs, web sites etc.
Lately it seems our political scene is becoming the spitting image of pro wrestling, and it’s time to tap in and reap the rewards.
This past Wednesday, live from parliament, a grudge match took place between Prime Minister Hubert Minnis and Opposition and PLP leader Philip ‘Brave’ Davis.
The two heatedly exchanged words over the new Disaster Preparedness and Response Act, with Davis labeling the proposed amendments a publicity stunt, to counteract the negative publicity in regards to the government’s management of Hurricane Dorian, before and after the monster storm.
“Indeed, the response of the government has taken on the semblance of the characteristic of Hurricane Dorian: it has been slow; it was erratic, rudderless and it has been disastrous.”
“The Bill seems to include a compendium of the best ideas from a group chat either in Cabinet or at a stew fish gathering by a breakfast bunch, obviously, there are good elements; but, in fact, those are already in place in law.”
Obviously Davis’ scathing commentary got PM Minnis’ goat - and maybe his three birds too.
Pulling a page straight out of the WWE’s ‘Monday Night Raw’ playbook, Minnis cut a main event like promo in the middle of the House of Assembly.
Challenging the Speaker of the House to “Clear the room, and cut off all the cameras, and I will tell (Davis) exactly what I mean.”
I can’t lie, as soon as I heard the outburst, my mind went straight to the image of Minnis and Davis throwing down.
TOM AND JERRY
At first glance, the two of them squaring off is reminiscent of the classic Tom and Jerry battles.
‘Doc’ as Tom, ‘Brave’ as Jerry, from a physical standpoint, the resemblances are spot on. (Just think about it for a second, see, I told you so.)
‘Doc’ tall and gangly, ‘Brave’ short and stout.
A classic ‘Biggie’ vs ‘Smallie’ confrontation.
Throw in some WWE theatrics, to go along with the ready made story line, and we have an international PPV event of epic proportions on our hands, with all proceeds going to the Hurricane Dorian recovery efforts.
I’ve already fast forwarded to the ending of the match, and the possible outcomes, providing either of the two lands their respective finishing maneuvers.
THE FIVE FINGERS OF FURY
If ‘Doc’ were to lean on his medical training and hand size, and land his ‘Five Fingers of Fury’ to any part or orifice of ‘Brave’s’ anatomy, instantly the match would be all over.
Either by submission or pin-fall.
And on the other hand, if ‘Brave’ were to render ‘Doc’ helpless, by firstly blowing ‘Cat Island’ obeah powder in his eyes.
Then mounting the top rope, and delivering his flying head butt, the
‘Be Brave’, with that pit bull like for head head of his, Davis would surely land ‘Doc’ in concussion protocol.
Match over 1,2,3.
This far fetched scenario has tons of potential.
I’m off to call Vince McMahon and the WWE, ‘Doc’ vs ‘Brave’ in the ring at National Stadium... and we haven’t even involved the other members of the government and opposition.
Call me crazy .... it could happen!