TOMORROW is the last day of the global 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-based Violence campaign coordinated by the Centre for Women’s Global Leadership. It is also International Human Rights Day.

Over the past few weeks, organisations and advocates have been starting and sustaining conversations about gender-based violence, women’s rights, and human rights. These awareness-raising events are important, but they come and go, only having lasting impact when our work continues.

Almost every time there is a conversation about women’s rights, someone says, “What about the men?” When we talk about violence against women, it is almost guaranteed that someone will say, “Men experience violence too.”

We consistently see people trying to derail conversations about women and gender minorities, but not starting the conversation about men on their own. It’s quite clear that they are insincere in their comments, and not interested in having a conversation about men’s experiences, but want to distract those having conversations about vulnerable people.

There are some people who are genuinely interested in conversations about men and masculinity, and it is important to engage in conversations with and about men. During the global campaign, Equality Bahamas organised an event focused on gender-based violence, masculinity, and the LGBTQ+ community. At that event, human rights advocate Erin Greene was in conversation with MPhil in Interdisciplinary Gender Studies and PhD student in Cultural Studies Amílcar Sanatan. Their discussion was rich and people on the call quickly engaged, sharing their own thoughts and experiences.

Sanatan talked about the need to “trouble” the structures and practices familiar to us, including masculinity. He spoke to the need to expand our thinking about what masculinity is.

A participant pointed out that limited views of masculinity and forcing men and boys to perform in particular ways is a form of gender-based violence. This form of gender-based violence is common and often goes unnoticed, and it disproportionately affects gay, bisexual, trans, and gender nonconforming men.

Greene talked about the need to engage our imaginations as we are thinking about the world as we know it and the world we can have. She often talks about the need to talk about and develop ideas, to expand our understanding of what is possible, and to engage people who can help us with limitless thinking.

At one point, Sanatan pointed to his privilege as a man who is immediately recognised, not only as a man, but as a masculine man. He talked about coming to the understanding that he is in a unique position to engage men and boys in conversations about masculinity, manhood, gender-based violence, and feminism. He coordinates Feminist Bredren, an informal network that engages men and boys in conversations and work on gender justice and peace in the region.

The discussion about masculinity was one of the most popular events during the 16 Days campaign. It had the most participants, one of the highest rates of participant in the chat, and the longest run time.

After the event came to a close, most of the participants lingered, much like we used to do at in-person conferences, to listen to Sanatan and Greene talk a bit more, raise questions, and express their thanks for the conversation. It showed that there is an interest in addressing the issue of toxic masculinity and hyper masculinity. We are beginning to understand it as a source of violence and a tool of oppression that puts men in a box where they are only allowed to behave in limited ways.

In many ways, men need to be free from the constraints of a limited, restrictive understanding of masculinity. They need to be able to express a full range of emotion in nonviolent ways, and to be able to safely report violence against them and be taken seriously.

For those who are always asking about the conversations about men, visit the Equality Bahamas Facebook page to watch the recording.

Spend differently, start a giving circle

People always want to know what to give the person who has everything, what to do with all of the useless gifts they receive, and how to entertain their family members and friends in ways that don’t bore them with similarity to previous holiday seasons.

This may be the year you, with more than enough and a circle in the same position, forego gifts. This may also be the year you skip the large, lavish festivities. There are thousands of people in need, affected by Hurricane Dorian and COVID-19 in particular.

Get together with family members and friends and decide how you would like to contribute to causes that matter to all of you.

An easy way to come together and make a big impact is to pool your resources. Decide how much money you each would like to contribute. This could be a nominal amount, the amount you would have spent on gifts for everyone who is usually on your list, or the amount of money you tend to spend on parties and other holiday-related expenses.

Whether your group has hundreds or thousands of dollars, there is an organisation or family in need that would greatly benefit from your contribution.

Secure an apartment with first and last month’s rent and the security deposit. Cover an overdue electricity bill. Provide a holiday meal for a few families. Donate cases of baby formula, pampers, and wipes. There is a cause waiting for you.

Practising Christianity with respect for those who are not Christians

Over the past few months, I have been attending community meetings meant to involve civil society organisations in the decision-making process by a particular body. It has, for the most, been a positive experience. Those coordinating these meetings are truly interested in listening to understand, working with new ideas, asking for feedback and responding with action, and creating a collaborative working environment.

From the first meeting, I noticed that a Christian prayer was always the first item, whether or not it was on the agenda. I take no issue with individuals’ religious practices, but I do find it frustrating that national events, business meetings, and the like start — and sometimes end — with prayer. It is an assumption that everyone is a Christian or is okay, or must be okay, with the dominance of Christianity in every space. There is no allowance for people of other faiths, even in the form of a period of silence for people to pray, reflect, meditate, or anything else as they wish. I withheld my comment on this frequent occurrence until a call this week. I spoke up because it is clearly a pervasive issue that is seen as acceptable because it is now a norm that is not often challenged.

As usual, the meeting started with a Christian prayer. Perhaps all of the people on these calls are Christian people or accepting of this norm that exists in households, schools, and other shared spaces. When it was time to give feedback, someone on the call suggested the use of a scripture from The Bible for a public communication tool. When they were finished offering feedback, I offered my perspective on the meetings starting with prayer and the inappropriate nature of biblical scripture in communications intended for the general public which includes people of other faiths. Someone on the call said prayer is not only Christian and it is not exclusive. I noted that the prayers are Christian prayers and people of other religions are not being included, and that is not really the point, but an example of the issue I was raising.

The point is that the use of scripture is inappropriate and it is not inclusive as there was not even a recommendation to use other religious texts. I was then advised that it was a suggestive not a decision, to which I responded that I was responding to the suggestion as should be expected. Why take offence? This was all quite interesting. Then, the person who suggested the use of scripture said, “I would like to point my colleague to the preamble of our constitution. Thank you.” Fascinating.

Later, in making a comment about a holistic approach to the issue being discussed, the person referred to me as “having some challenges” with spirituality. Having no idea what my faith is or my religious or spiritual practices, this person assumed that I am spiritually challenged and they decided to be disrespectful, even after we had passed the point in the meeting and I had chosen not to challenge them further in that space, largely out of an abundance of respect for others in the meeting and the agenda before us.

We talk about the preamble of the constitution all the time, and only to defend the misconception that The Bahamas is a “Christian nation”. The preamble does not call The Bahamas a “Christian nation”. It calls for “an abiding respect for Christian values and the Rule of Law”. First, respect is not the same as subscription or immersion. Second, “Christian values” is not synonymous with Christianity. Third, the rule of law is included there. Fourth, the preamble is not the law.

Article 15 of the constitution — the actual constitution — entitles every person in The Bahamas to fundamental rights and freedoms “subject to respect for the rights and freedoms of others”. Further, Article 26(3) speaks to discrimination when people are “subjected to disabilities or restrictions to which a person of another such description are not made subject or are accorded privileges or advantages which are not accorded to persons of another such description”.

We need to talk about the preamble, Article 15, and Article 26 of the constitution and what it all means for people who are Christian and people of other faiths and religious practices. We need to talk about tolerance and inclusion, the difference between the two, and where we are when it comes to religion.

At the very least, if people truly believe they are Christians living in a Christian nation, they should endeavour to truly practice the faith with Christ-like behaviour; not just quote scripture when it is convenient. While we are all at it, we need to know a lot more about the constitution than the preamble. Perhaps Christians can also be good citizens with love and respect for other citizens. Jesus himself showed that it is not that hard. Practice the best version of Christianity you can, and keep looking for better ways. You can do it.