By INIGO 'NAUGHTY' ZENICAZELAYA

CUPID’S COMEDY

Happy Valentine’s Day to each and every one of you. Seeing how, oftentimes love is accompanied by laughter, I think it only fitting to offer up some Valentine’s humour on the day of love, for all of the lovers, in love, in The Bahamas.

PUN INTENDED:

Any professional comedian who’s worth their salt, knows that a ‘pun’ is a vital necessity, and potentially lethal weapon in their arsenal of jokes.

If you don’t know what a pun is, keep reading, and you soon will.

PUN (noun)

A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.

The Railway Society reception was an informal party of people of all stations (excuse the pun) in life.

pun (verb)

“Freeth adopted the nickname Free in punning allusion to his beliefs”.

So exclusively for the ‘mandom’ based on some of the ladies favourite foods, here are a few ‘puns’ to use all day long on the one you love, especially if your going to a lavish, romantic Valentine’s dinner.

Use them well my brothers:

I simply donut know what I’d do without you.

I only have fries for you.

Brie mine.

You got a pizza my heart.

Olive you so much.

You melt me.

My heart beets for you.

Love you so matcha.

I think you’re grate.

I love you s’more and s’more.

You’re simply my jam.

Love you from my head tomatoes.

We’re mint to be.

You make miso happy.

Words can’t espresso how much I love you.

You are one in a melon.

Will you peas be mine?

We make a great pear.

Happy Valentine’s Day, cute-tea!

I have a whole latte love for you.

Let’s canoodle.

You’ve got me tongue-tied.

I love you a waffle lot.

You are the loaf of my life.

To my butter half on this Valentine’s Day.

FOR THE OFFICE COMEDIAN:

For all if you who entertain your co workers, on break in the lunch room, restroom or at the water cooler, here’s a few to add to your routine.

Don’t blame me if you get laughed at, instead of with.

What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? “Be my Valen-slime!”

“What did the paper clip say to the magnet?” “I find you very attractive.”

“What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?” “I’m stuck on you!”

“Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?” “His heart wasn’t in it.”

“Why did the sheriff lock up their valentine?” “She stole their heart.”

“What do you call two birds in love?” “Tweethearts!”

“How can you tell when a squirrel is in love?” “It goes nuts!”

“I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture. But when I got home the tables were turned.”

“I once fell in love with someone who only knew four vowels. They didn’t know I existed.”

“What did the calculator say to the pencil?” “You can count on me.”

“How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?” “He gave her a ring!”

“What did one oar tell the other oar?” “This is so row-mantic!”

“What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb?” “You light my world up.”

“How can you get arrested on Valentine’s Day?” “For stealing someone’s heart.”

In closing for all of you young ‘Romeos’ our there, in the spirit of young love,

‘Uncle’ ‘Naughty’ will bless you with a fail proof, pick up line.....happy trails.

“I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk straight into a pole.”

Live, love and laugh!