It’s that time again. Many people are glued to their televisions, calculating time differences, pulling out their flags to wave, and preparing the honey and lemon to soothe throats after screaming at athletes who cannot hear them. Everyone wants to see their people bring home a medal. Bahamians have grown accustomed to the bragging rights that come with Olympic medals we have nothing to do with winning. The wins, we say, are for all of us. For days and days, people have been joking about what should be named after which Bahamian athlete, should they medal.

It is always interesting to see people embrace and practice patriotism specifically when there is something to be won, and especially when it comes with bragging rights. It is even more interesting to see the way people suspend memory and understanding of imperfect systems, practices and people, put woes aside and hyper-focus on the goal ahead, completely in the hands of one person or small group of people. We do not know them, but they have that ability to win and have the same nationality as us, allowing us to win by association.

The accident of being born in the same place somehow binds us together and allows us to share successes. There is nothing quite like celebrating the accomplishments of people with the same nationality. What else can get us to set aside differences and pause arguments, all to focus on the event at hand?

For some reason, we do not do the same when it comes to issues of national concern. Party politics and partisanship are consistent distractions. The refusal to think critically and dedication to parties and personalities impede progress by blocking efforts some of us make to unite on common issues and press for better laws and policies. We use this energy specifically for wins on the global stage.

Unfortunately, we cannot seem to focus on winning as a collective without throwing jeers at others. In the 2016 Olympics, when the US was not only disappointed by its loss, but aggrieved by Shaunae Miller’s win, Bahamians were quick to “clap back”. Under the guise of patriotism, people bullied those who expressed any negative feelings about the win, taking it personally. “CYC” became the popular response, many people finding it funny, ignoring the misogyny embedded in the term. Little mattered more than dominating that corner of the internet, shutting down any and all detractors. This time around, before we even got to the semi-finals, the arguments started with people in other Caribbean countries.

Every few months, Bahamians on social media get into a ridiculous, pointless back and forth with people from other Caribbean countries. The surface reasons are silly, ranging from who has the most beautiful beaches to who is making souse the right or best way. It would not be as bad if these engagements were short, funny and enjoyable for all, but they get vile very quickly. Recently, someone went so far as to make light of the genocide of indigenous people in The Bahamas.

We have, somehow, learned to treat the people with the closest experiences to our own with disdain. This is most evident in the treatment of Haitian people in The Bahamas. People who have not visited many Caribbean countries or studied them confidently claim The Bahamas is superior. Is it the proximity to the US? Is it because the Bahamian dollar is pegged to the US dollar? These things seem to give an inflated sense of self.

Meanwhile, other countries in the region are actively doing, publishing and using research. They are having conversations about removing the Queen from the position of Head of State. They are becoming republics. They are working together to grow and share resources with one another. They are actively calling for reparations and making demands of “developed” nations to support small island developing states in combatting climate change. They recognize and celebrate their own creoles.

We cannot really, honestly say we are better than other Caribbean countries. We have consistently played at the edge of CARICOM, ready to reap rewards, but not prepared to fully participate. This is, of course, the fault of politicians who refuse to make the best decisions for all of us because they would rather get re-elected.

The conversation around the Olympics, especially compared with issues of national concern, could be an interesting data set. Particularly around the time of the general election, it could tell us a few things about ourselves. When are we most proud of ourselves and each other? What are we prepared to fight for and against? What do we value? What do we consider important, but work for other people to do? How do we see ourselves in relation to other people? How do we think we are perceived by others?

Bahamians on the internet are not particularly interested in being seen as smart, friendly or justice-minded. It seems to be all about jokes, and too much Bahamian humour depends on humiliation. Similarly, Bahamian pride (online) seems to be focused on what one person or a small group accomplished “for us all” and how that can be used to belittle others.

Everyone wants to be funny, but with harmful humour that is intertwined with a bully culture. Laughing at people who fall, laughing at children who are embarrassed, making a mockery of unhoused people, circulated videos of people being humiliated. This is what far too many people find funny and seek to replicate.

We can do better - and we have. The evidence is in Bahamian stories, poetry, plays, commercials and music. Participating in bully culture is easy and any idiot can do it. Being truly funny is entirely different. The same goes for our engagement with one another. It is easy to be on the same team, against the rest of the world. To progress, we will have to, at the very least, find common ground and agree to the standard of living and human rights we should all be able to access. We need shared goals, aside from cheering athletes on to come back with medals.

Recommendations

1 Get more reusable masks. Buy them, make them, ask someone else to make them. Get them in a variety of colours and prints. Treating your mask like an accessory can make it more enjoyable to wear. You need a clean mask each day. If it gets wet, you need to change it. Make sure you have enough to be able to change them as needed. Be sure to encourage others to wear their masks, and to wear them properly.

2 Learn to apologize. A lot of people are incredibly bad at apologizing. Celebrities often give great examples of terrible apologies that we can learn from. Recently DaBaby decided not to apologize for his anti-LGBTQI+ nonsense and dangerous comments about HIV/AIDS. Festivals started dropping him from their line-ups, and all of sudden, he was sorry. His apology was bad from start to finish and the part that really made it completely unacceptable was his decision to blame his nonsense on other people for not educating him.

Before you apologize, make sure you know what you did wrong and that you are sorry for the harm you caused. You need to clearly state both of these things in your apology. You also need to commit to making amends and doing better. What are you going to do for the people you have wronged? Be sorry and say you are sorry. Acknowledge the harm you have caused and, if you affected specific groups of people, name them. Accept responsibility for what you did. Do not try to share the blame with anyone else. Commit to doing and being better.

3 Journal every day. You do not have to write paragraphs. It does not have to be perfect. You may have just two sentences to put on the page one day, one word the next day and a full page on the following day. The length doesn’t matter. Give yourself a space to put your thoughts, dreams, commitments, worries and whatever else comes up during the day. Revisit old entries or destroy them. Do whatever you need to do with them. Your journal is a place to keep some things for yourself so you don’t have to share every single thought with the world. There are some that no one else ever needs to see or hear.