Editor, The Tribune.

Please note: 1. The development of this role playing game (RPG) is under consideration, and the following outlines initial thoughts for the game. 2. The setting for the game is the existing five mile stretch of road on Great Exuma between Augusta Bay Resort and the western Rolle Town wall. For convenience, we’ll refer to it as Pothole Alley. Over the past two years, most of the road to the west of Augusta Bay has been resurfaced and presents few hazards beyond the usual: speeding autos, dump trucks loaded with flying gravel and semis apparently participating in an Indy 500, distracted drivers, etc.

Needless to say, Exuma residents hope all of the Queen’s Highway will be paved before the next General Election, as work on the road started before the previous one. Perhaps we’re waiting for a visit by King Charles III so the road’s name can be changed to the King’s Highway?!

Anyway, back to the video game.

Sorry… another aside. Four decades ago, Eddie Minnis penned a song whose lyrics contained the assertion that the George Town road had more potholes than Nassau had thieves. While it was opinion, not fact, I wonder if the assertion holds true today.

Also, for convenience sake, the term pothole includes the axle breaking, rim bending, tyre destroying drop-offs along the shoulders of much of Pothole Alley.

Video game name: Dodge da Pothole.

The Goal: To accumulate the least amount of points by avoiding potholes while driving Pothole Alley at or under the speed limit. While not a multiplayer role playing game (RPG), if you opt in, your scores will automatically be registered (based on the serial number of your game) until Pothole Alley has been paved. Once the road is completed, the player with the lowest score will be awarded a $10,000 credit towards a new vehicle of their choice of a licensed auto dealer in The Bahamas.

As with other RPGs, Dodge da Pothole has levels that are progressively more difficult. Each level has pothole “hit”, speed, and time limits. Players exceeding any of these limits will have to restart the level. All traffic laws must be obeyed (e.g. no passing on corners). Also, when point limits are exceeded, the player must restart that level.

Players start at Level 1, which entails driving Pothole Alley during the dry season when potholes are not hidden by water and on a Sunday or holiday when traffic levels are at a minimum.

The game ends after Level 5 is mastered. Here, players must negotiate Pothole Alley from east to west on a Saturday night. At the assigned time, Fish Fry patrons will be heading home in the opposite direction and there will be oncoming loaded dump trucks racing against time to minimise overtime costs for a gravel barge delayed by thunderstorms. Additionally, a downpour is adding to already flooded roads, leading to the widening and deepening of existing potholes and creating new ones. A shifting terrain. To top it off, most drivers don’t dip their bright beams and a not insignificant number are distracted by passengers and/or phones.

May the most defensive driver win. Drive safe. Good luck!

A final note: Limitations are built in to prevent reckless, aggressive driving and promote appropriate driving habits. No expansion packs will be available (eg, police chases, speeding and weaving motorcycles) except, perhaps, one which necessitates significant upgrades because continued deterioration of the road means that, to truly reflect reality, the game’s name has to be changed from Dodge da Pothole to Dodge da Crater.

CHRIS MINNS

Nassau,

June 7, 2023.