Hi! I don't know if you will actually see this comment or not, but I had to say something.
The number 1 issue here is that fat does not equal unhealthy, and thin does not equal healthy. There are obese people that live to be 100, and thin people who have heart attacks at 35. We have to get past trying to make people 'healthy'. Whether or not they are is a matter between them and their doctor.
You said in the article about how much it hurts to have people tell you to eat something. Now imagine that is what you are making your friends and family feel when you try to offer them healthy alternatives or try to get them to exercise. They know. They already hear it from the doctor, from the media, from strangers, maybe from other friends. Has the doctor ever brushed something aside, blaming your weight instead of looking into a deeper issue? Have you ever been mocked for being on an airplane or eating in public? These are things that fat people go through every day. We are constantly thinking about our weight and trying to disappear in a world that tells us we are less than human.
If you want to try to help your friends, why not cook for them? Bring them over to your house and make turkey burgers with grilled veggies. Why not take them on a hike or a walk on the beach? The second you frame it into 'you should do this instead of that', the defensive walls go up and everything from then on is a fight. Frame it in a different way.
You said yourself that you are not a nutritionist or professional trainer. If you want to help, why not become one? Then you will have the tools to help the people who want to be helped. You may even find ideas to sneak some healthy things into your friend's lives.
To summarize, we hear it enough. We hear it at all times, from everyone. If you are worried about your friends, tell them one time that if they would like some help, you are there for them, then let it go. They are independent adults who are making their own choices. Just like you don't like to be told how to eat, neither do they.
If you do read this and would like to talk more, I would be very open to it. I do like discussing this with people and not in a way that creates a huge fight. Thanks.
Punky100 says...
Hi! I don't know if you will actually see this comment or not, but I had to say something.
The number 1 issue here is that fat does not equal unhealthy, and thin does not equal healthy. There are obese people that live to be 100, and thin people who have heart attacks at 35. We have to get past trying to make people 'healthy'. Whether or not they are is a matter between them and their doctor.
You said in the article about how much it hurts to have people tell you to eat something. Now imagine that is what you are making your friends and family feel when you try to offer them healthy alternatives or try to get them to exercise. They know. They already hear it from the doctor, from the media, from strangers, maybe from other friends. Has the doctor ever brushed something aside, blaming your weight instead of looking into a deeper issue? Have you ever been mocked for being on an airplane or eating in public? These are things that fat people go through every day. We are constantly thinking about our weight and trying to disappear in a world that tells us we are less than human.
If you want to try to help your friends, why not cook for them? Bring them over to your house and make turkey burgers with grilled veggies. Why not take them on a hike or a walk on the beach? The second you frame it into 'you should do this instead of that', the defensive walls go up and everything from then on is a fight. Frame it in a different way.
You said yourself that you are not a nutritionist or professional trainer. If you want to help, why not become one? Then you will have the tools to help the people who want to be helped. You may even find ideas to sneak some healthy things into your friend's lives.
To summarize, we hear it enough. We hear it at all times, from everyone. If you are worried about your friends, tell them one time that if they would like some help, you are there for them, then let it go. They are independent adults who are making their own choices. Just like you don't like to be told how to eat, neither do they.
If you do read this and would like to talk more, I would be very open to it. I do like discussing this with people and not in a way that creates a huge fight. Thanks.
On INSIGHT: Why can’t I talk about weight?
Posted 10 October 2017, 5:40 p.m. Suggest removal