It’s pretty optimistic to use the words “Tribune” and “investigate” in the same sentence, bro.

Yes, as long as there is Junkanoo we have nothing to worry about. Yes, of course. (Bang a gong.)

The U.S., which is 1,000 times larger than the Bahamas, has had uninterrupted postal service since 1775. Average delivery time to your home — not to a postal box, but your home — is 2-3 days. Overnight delivery can be arranged for a few dollars.

This will relieve everybody’s stress from not really worrying about working for a living.

Hey, no problem ... I read here in The Tribune the other day that we’re gonna become the Silicon Valley of the Caribbean. Just because we can’t deliver a simple letter is no reason to doubt that, I guess.

Horseshit.

In all this gass-bagging, the reporter forgot to ask three important questions:

1. How much would it cost to buy the land and build this huge, “5-star” luxury complex?
2. Where is the money coming from?
3. How do 20 hotel rooms and 15 cottages, economically, support a staff of 155 and all these other facilities?

Eleuthera has seen too many such ridiculous proposals over the years, all of them failures, some of them scams. The Tribune should be ashamed to publish this claptrap without having the courage to ask clear, simple, important questions and demand no-nonsense answers.

Does anybody understand how incredibly sad this sounds, in the Western Hemisphere, in the 21st century? We’ll “do our best” to create electricity?

Uh ... Silicon Valley has reliable supplies of electricity and water ... and a workforce with a work ethic that is virtually alien to Bahamian culture.

Maybe their students will learn how to spell “enrollment”.